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Choosing between my wife and mother


Asalam-o-Alikum, after 14 years of marriage, now my wife is pushing me to ask my mother who lives with my younger brother to give me my share in “Tarka”, I know that my father left only one house in which my mother lives with my brother. And i live separate having my own apartment. She is continuously asking me to go to her and make her do that otherwise I give her divorce. Please remember I have 1 son & 4 daughters. She says she has had enough. So, kindly tell me what Islam says about it. Should I ask my mother to keep my wife & my kids with me or just give her divorce and leave my kids.
Will be so greatfull.
JazakAllahum Khair.
Ilyas Mirza


Waalykum salam

Thank you for your Question.

While it Is true that you also have a share in what your father has left behind, but, if claiming it means to leave your mother homeless then it’s good to know that according Islamic laws, it is obligatory (Wajib) on the eldest son to provide for his mother (after her husband’s demise) when she cannot provide for herself. This provision means food, clothing, and shelter. Hence, if you take away this apartment then you will still  liable to provide for her. (Food clothing and shelter).

As for your wife, you should speak to her with calmness about your Islamic responsibility towards your mother. And besides, mother is someone that Allah (az) really emphasized on her and her noble status. Hurting her would mean going against Allah’s command.

Your divorce cannot depend on this issue either. First of, man is the one who holds the right of divorce and you can Inform your wife that you do not wish to do that.

Second, speak to her and put her in to your place. Ask her, how would she feel if her mother is thrown out of the house just because of a brother’s right!?

third, I’d suggest you also speak to someone who your wife will listen to if you are not able to make her understand.

on a side note, life can be hard for a lot of reasons. We should try our best to eliminate the problems and also pray to Allah for solving our issues.

hope this was useful,