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Why dint Allah respond to my prayers…. .


Assalamu alaikum
I am a teenager.. I loved a girl of my same much…with full sincerity and  wished to marry her.. I proposed her…she give me a reply that she couldnt accept me because of our same age..but I continued my interest in her and also she did not refused it… She made me think that she also loves me.I was sure that I couldn’t marry her hence I prayed to Allah that “Allah I couldn’t get her here but Allah give me her as mine in Jannah” I continued this prayer at every salaat, during fasting, during the journey, midnight..etc This was my dua for about one and half year… Now she disclosed that she was never intrested in me and she had an another affair with her cousin. I am in a great depression, sad and angry and many more.. I couldn’t understand my own feelings.. I prayed day and night and used my whole time for her. But now I feel ashamed for praying to Allah for her as she never wanted me…. I prayed for a year for getting her in Jannah…. but she never…. What should I do? Why Allah avoided my prayer? Why Allah did not send his reply to my pray, I was fasting for it.


Waalaykum al-Salam brother.
I am sorry to learn how miserable you’re feeling at the moment.

It can be very difficult to feel that you have lost everything ln life. The recovery process from the feeling can be daunting and nerve-racking. However, let me tell you that many have gone through the same issue and were able to come out of it with great success.
I wish to take you through a thinking process that will help you with the first stepping stone.

Teenagehood is a very sweet, yet trying era. It is the time in life when a child has grown up to become a young independent lad. S/he tries to use all his faculties to explore the new identity and freedom s/he now possesses. One of the major ones that unfold then is the sense of love. This feeling is a tricky one. Every fall may sound and look like love. But to be honest, there is a vast difference between love and infatuation. Infatuation is a short-lived admiration while love is a two-sided long time commitment (lifetime).
For you to understand whether this was a real sense of love or infatuation you will need to give yourself some time. Do some serious thinking and then answer the query for yourself!

Brother, Allah (az) has made us very special. He made our hearts a place where He dwells. Should we give this space to someone else other than Him, He leaves the hearts and gives way to others for your comfort and out of His generosity. And when He leaves the heart than sadness and worry downs upon us and that is exactly what depression and anxiety mean.
You see, in life, there are a number of people we dearly love. like our parents. And we clearly feel the love in our hearts for them. Then how come, Allah, doesn’t leave the heart then?! That’s because there is some love that is directly affiliated with HIM and He recognises them as a blessing and halal. like the one for your parents.
Some of these feelings – like infatuations- are not blessed and recognised by Allah and are termed haram. However, when a man marries a woman, Allah fills the hearts of the couple with love for one another because the act is directly related to the love for HIM. The act is loved by Allah such that the good doings of a married person multiply by a great number than that of a single unmarried man.
Your relationship, even if one-sided, was the kind of relationship that Allah doesn’t recognise and approve of. His blessings did not entail your intentions. It made you feel sad (depressed) when you stopped concentrating on all the halal love He kept for you.
On Allah’s side, your asking can be explained as: A child asking his parent to give him an extremely sharp knife to play with. He rolls on the floor, begs, cries, stops eating.etc.etc. Yet, a loving and concerned parent will disregard this and never give the child the knife.
In the same way, for you to experience what you did was indeed a favour for you!

It is like Allah (az), wanted to keep the evil away from you because there is a greater good coming your way!

Do not repair brother. You sound like a very loving soul. It is sad to give away all this sincere love and feeling to someone who doesn’t deserve it so. InshaAllah you find the right person at the right time and she too understands your worth and loves you equally if not more.

For now, it is time to gather yourself, buckle up and explore life further. Wish good for the girl and pray for the best for yourself. Recite Salat al-Layl as often as you can. Recite Ziarat Ashura and leave the rest into the capable hands of Allah (az).

It can be trying to forget the experience you have had, but busying yourself with what you want to endure, using your daily energy wisely, taking up sports, learning new skills and spending quality time with family will make the path more endurable.

please take care of yourself
no one is worth the love you’re feeling except for Allah
Try once and believe for yourself
Good luck