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Wa Alaykumussalam

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If a non-Muslim woman really converts to Islam for the sake of Islam then it is permissible to marry her. But you have to be aware that after marrying problems shouldn’t be created that she converts back to her religion.

Speaking to non-mahram with lust or having fear of falling into haram is not allowed so one must avoid this situation.

Question: Can I be in a friendly relationship with a girl in my class.

Answer: All kinds of relations with a non-mahram including joking, expressing mutual love, talking with the intention of deriving pleasure, looking at the body of a girl (except her face and hands up to the wrists) and at her hair or looking at her face with pleasure are Haram (forbidden). In fact, if it is feared that they might fall into a sin, it is forbidden for them to have any kind of relationship with each other.

www.sistani.org/english/qa/01151

Regarding parents’ consent in marriage, it is a must for a girl to get her father’s consent for marriage if she is a virgin but a boy can marry.

Question: What are the limits of obeying one’s parents?

Answer: The duty of a child towards his parents is of two kinds:

The First: To be kind towards them by providing for them, if they are in need. To provide for their day-to-day needs. To respond to their requests that are related to their daily lives at a level that is normal and usual for a human being, in the sense that if he refuses to fulfill them, it would be regarded as “not being good to them” — and that would differ depending on whether they are healthy and strong or ill and weak.

The Second: To behave towards them kindly, by not offending them in word or action, even if they are unjust to him. In some religious text, it says, “And if they hit you, do not shun them; instead say, ‘May Allãh forgive you.’”

This is as far as it relates to the parents’ situation. As for those issues concerning the affairs of the child himself by which he could offend one of the parents, these are of two kinds:

The First: If the parent’s distress results from his concern for the child, it is forbidden for the child to do something that would distress his parent, irrespective of whether or not the parent has prevented him from it.

The Second: If the parent’s distress results from of his own evil characteristics (for example, dislike for the good of this world or the hereafter for his child), this kind of distress has no bearing on the child, thus, it is not obligatory on the child to submit to this kind of desires.

It becomes clear from this that, on its own, obeying the parents in their personal commands is not obligatory. And Allãh knows the best.

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/46/2056/

Parents’ obedience is must unless they ask the children to go against the commands of Allah swt.

Although the boy can decide himself and marry. However, if it causes annoyance or harm to the parents then obeying them in this matter will be wajib on you. If their opinion is out of sympathy and doesn’t cause annoyance or harm then it would not be problematic.

Also, one must take care that even if the son can marry but the parents shouldn’t get hurt by the decision which may cause disputes within the family itself as you all have been staying together for at least twenty or more years.

Now you can see where you stand and what is the situation in this regard.

Before marriage, the main thing to be looked for, in a boy and girl the piety i.e: How pious is the person. As husband and wife become  life partners will be living

together so one should select a partner who can help him/her to gain proximity to Allah(swt).

You can speak respectfully and discuss with your parents about your choice and see how it works. One is not obliged to marry the person he doesn’t like. So, you can marry either of the cases mentioned but try to make your parents happy so it can be a prosperous marriage.

Allaho A’alam

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

Syed Haider