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What should I do that my wife adapts my situation happily

Q:

Asslaam o alaikum .
I want to ask a question .
My betterhalf is not happy with me becuase she feels disturbed to live with my family ,further more shes is now having a feeling that im not going to protect her or make a stand for her during household problems .
Thats why she want to leave giving her reassurances thst whatever iam doing is for her benefit .
My family wants her to live the way they are living and im assuring that it wont be much a problem if agree to our parents but she feels suffocted and was about to leave when i had to cry and convince her not to leave as it will be difficult for me and her to live that way .
She is from a well off family and iam from a middle lower class family and we had love marriage which my parents said will do in some later dates but she insisted to do it early and i had to force my parents for an early marriage .
Kindly guide me through this as i dont want to leave my family neither i want my wife to leave and i want her to adapt to the situation happily.
Jazakallah

A:

Alaikum Salam.

In Islam, Allah enjoins that men should be the protectors and maintainers of their wives. Thus one needs to perform their duty without showing any weakness and try their best to fulfil the basic requirements of their wives atleast.
Now that you have tried to do so, it becomes neccesary for you keep your self respect in that. By crying and begging her not to go, you are infact encouraging her to be bold and disobedient to you in not only this matter, but every matter in future also. This does not mean that you shouldn’t explain her politely, but being firm at the same time will make her realize what she has to deal with to make reasonable adjustments in her married life.

At the same time, if any misunderstandings are happening in the family, try to talk them out clearly and politely before they get complicated. If your parents can look after themselves, then it isn’t wrong to settle in your own house so that you can preserve your marriage and maintain the peace between yourselves.
If you keep the best relations with your parents along side, nothing will spoil that, even if you live separately.
Be confident to start working on your problems before it becomes bitter for you and your family. This is a stage whereby the problem can be solved quicker than when it gets out of hand since you have love for your wife as well as your parents in their own right ways.

Regards
Salma Alavi.