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What should I do, marry him or leave him?


I am 21 year old medical student. Currently i am in 3rd year mbbs. I like a boy who is 3 years behind me in studies. This year inshallah he will start his university. When i will be free from my studies still his 1 year of university will be remaining. I want to marry him but it will take time to for him to get settled and marry me. His father is against our marriage. His parents always fight and they are not happy at home he doesn’t want me to suffer all this and this is also the reason. I really love him and want to marry him but there are many problems regarding his future. I want to get married by 25 and he wont be settled till then. I have done istikhara and to some extent my heart is accepting to leave him. What should i do please help me.


Salamun Alaykum

Thank you for your query.

You are older to him. When you will be 25 he will be 23 and as you said he won’t be settled by then.

As you mentioned, his father isn’t happy. Even if you get married it will affect your marital life and you will not be mentally happy. May be in the beginning you can tolerate but what if that problem persists and you can’t resist any more?

It is not mentioned if istikhara was good to stay with him or good to leave. According to your wordings it seems Istikhara had been bad to stay with him.

Usually, istishara (mashurat) is done before istikhara and the scholars recommend the research has to be done before getting the Istikhara for wedding.

If you feel the problem persists then you can leave and concentrate on your studies and once you are ready to marry your parents can find a responsible boy for you who can be ready to settle.

Consider all the things such as pros and cons and then decide if this really works for your future or is it just the love which is pulling you over. Stay neutral and compare and see it works for you otherwise you can leave this and stay calm because marriage is something which is not to happen many or every time, it is a life time decision and no one wants to spoil his/her future.

we also find it wise to mention that the relation at the moment is haram in the eyes of Allah and he is not recognising it. To save your self from further damage. its wise to make quick decisions and involve your parents for a decent way forward. And certainly, Allah knows best.

May Allah(swt) grant you success


AAA team under the guidance of Syed Haider