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We like each other and we are engaged to different people.



I hope you are doing well.

I have been together with my cousin for the past 7 years and we loved each other. I liked him since I was 14. Now I am 20 and he is 24 now. His behavior with me is not nice.. He is very dominating and he only want things to happen according to him. He has put alot of restrictions on me.. and curses me sometimes… and then apologizes later. He keeps saying that if you don’t do this or that.. for instance if you don’t cook properly after marriage, I’ll do something… if you misbehave I’ll hit you,  I will divorce you… ( we are not even married or engaged yet.) Our parents do know about each other.. and My Mom is against it ever since.  He is within our family so she says I know them more than you do but we have been together for 7yrs..  He shows love when he has to… but these things frustrate me alot….because I cry more than I love reading his chats.

I met another person who is 21 yrs old at my work. We instantly became friends because I think we can relate to each other.. He is engaged, he told me but doesn’t want to marry the girl because  she gives him alot of tension . Even her mom is very annoying he says.. he doesn’t like the family at all. He is going to get married to this girl who he doesn’t even love. We both met 3 months ago.. and have become really good friends…. actually I like him more than a friend.  He does all the right things my cousin does not do. He is very positive about everything.  He confessed to me that he  fell in love with me and that he wants to marry me.

I saw him in my dream one day after this incident that he he with me.. in darkness.. and i am scared… and he recites quran loudly.

I am also considering this proposal because I actually like him.  He told his parents that he doesnt want to marry the other girl. .. and her mom reacted by hitting her head on the wall and his father broke his phones, He also told the other girl that he will marry another girl.. but she is least bothered… His sister did FAAL and said that I am azab on him. He is very concerned about this because we couldn’t believe it. I also don’t believe it because I did it as well and it was nothing negative. I am sure his sister lied to him. Please tell us how to get accurate answers… He is getting married on 5th Jan.. and he wants to breakup with that girl as he doesn’t want to destroy her life.

His phones are broken by his father, His ipad is taken away and his laptop is also taken. The only point of contact is through emails.. that he send. THIS SITUATION brought us close to Allah… he never prayed before… now he prays 5 times… I always prayed.. and I told him to start praying and have faith in Allah..

We both like each other… and are stuck with a bad relationship…we dont know What to do..  I dont know what to do…


Waalaykum al-salam

Thank you for your question.

Sister, Having any relation with a non-Mahram is haram. In both cases, Allah doesn’t recognise the relation to bless them in the first place. Therefore, it isn’t going to be easy to go about such issues.

The best is to receive decent proposals and consider them. Hence, if the second person really loves you and cares for you, and more important; if he is meant for you, it will come back.  let him sort out his own issues. And if he comes after that, you can certainly consider it.

As for your cousin, You aren’t promised or married and his behaviour is such, you can only imagine how difficult it may be as you start living together. Again, I will suggest the same, that get rid of any haram relations and put your trust in Allah. He is the best planner. what is meant for you, will not go anywhere but come your way!

You are young and full of energy. It will be sad if it was wasted on something that was unpleasant. Hence, it is wise to wait for the right person and time. in the meantime, give charity and make plenty of dua for yourself, your cousin and your co-worker for prosperity and the best spouse.

Good luck,