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We do not have freedom, living in a Joint Family with Inlaws.


I am living in joint family includes my Father, Mother and  2 siblings who are  28 years old  17 years old , My wife and son (2 months old). There are so many issues on small things,  which are so hard to handle, as Parents  are our elders we cannot argue, disobey or talk impolitely to them. They emphasize to live together in one house in which we only have one small room with so many  issues in it,  they says that only go to your room only when you want to sleep at night ,else stay with us all the day, they dont like if we take our own decisions ,we go out together or if we dont let them know that we are going somewhere ,anyhow for anything we do  they feel insulted. They thinks that we are doing wrong to them, Are we insulting them doing this to live our own lives,  without their consent?. If we say we want to stay separately they says this is wrong and you people are leaving us and all that. What should we do? Kindly let me know. Waiting for your response.



Waalykum salam
Thank you for your question

I must acknowledge that making a decision when it come to parents who feel offended easily is difficult.

However, having comfort and freedom is equally important for your immediate family.

I will suggest that you speak to your wife and try and keep all issues and problems away for a while. This will include maybe sacrificing for a few days, but this will pay off to sooth their hearts towards you. Once you know they aren’t upset or angry at you, you can then speak to them and explain them of your difficult situation in one room.

Try and explain that you will still see them and take care of them.
I will also suggest that you find a place close by so that they don’t feel abandon.

You may also want to use an influence of another person in your family who your parents will listen to. Someone probably older who understands your situation and their concern.

In the mean time, this situation can be heavy on you and your wife. Try and Make sure that your relation stays intact so that you are both able to come to a good understanding and resolve the problem

InshaAllah all goes well
Best wishes