The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

Beating grown up children.

Q:

Asalam o likum,
With due respect i want to ask, Can a father beat the daughter for daily life mistakes as not doing the work properly or being late for work etc.
And what are the circumstances in which a father can beat the daughter?

A:

Waalykum salam

Thank you for your question.

under no circumstance should a father beat his daughter.

I will suggest the father reads the following:

https://www.al-islam.org/principles-upbringing-children-ayatullah-ibrahim-amini/chapter-23-daughter-or-son

and

Daughters are the Best Children

Parents should thank God for the children that God grants them. They should realize that children are God’s trust in them. They should realize their heavy responsibility and exert all efforts to educate and raise them. The Immaculate Imams expressed that girls should be treated more kindly than boys are. This is really stressed in the sayings of the Prophet and the Immaculate Imams . Consider the following tradition in this regard.
Hazieh Yamani quoted on the authority of God’s Prophet :

خَيرُ أوْلادِكُم البَناتُ.

“Your daughters are your best children.”22

Imam Sadiq said:

البَناتُ حَسَناتٌ وَالبَنونَ نِعْمَةٌ؛ فَالحَسَناتُ يُثابُ عَلَيها وَالنِّعْمَةُ يُسألُ عَنْها.

“Daughters are good deeds, and sons are blessings. Good deeds will be rewarded and blessings will be questioned about.”23

The Prophet was given the glad tidings that God had granted him a daughter. His companions were so upset about the news that one could notice it from their faces. The Prophet said:

مَا لَكُم؟ رَيْحانَةٌ أَشَمُّها وَرِزْقُها عَلى اللهِ.

“Why are you so upset? A daughter is like a flower that I will smell. God will give her daily bread.” 24

God’s Prophet said:

نِعْمَ الوِلْدُ البَناتُ المُخَدَّراتُ. مَن كَانَتْ عِندَهُ وَاحِدَةٌ جَعَلَها اللهُ سِتراً لهُ مِن النّارِ، وَمَن كانَتْ عِندَهُ اثْنَتانِ أدْخَلَهُ اللهُ بِهِما الجَنَّةَ، وإنْ كُنَّ ثَلاثَةً أوْ مِثْلَهُنَّ مِن الأخَواتِ وُضِعَ عنهُ الجِهادُ وَالصَّدَقَةُ.

“The best children are daughters behind veils. Whoever has one daughter, God will make her a protection for him against the Fire of Hell. Whoever has two daughters, God will make him enter Heaven with them. If one has three daughters or sisters, the duty of participation in a holy war and payment of charity are removed from him.”25

Ibn Abbas quoted on the authority of God’s Prophet :

مَنْ دَخَلَ السّوقَ فاشْتَرى تُحفَةً فَحَمَلَها إلى عِيالِهِ كانَ كَحامِلِ صَدَقَةٍ إلى قَومٍ مَحاوِيجَ، وَليَبْدَؤوا بالإناثِ قَبلَ الذّكُورِ فإنَّهُ مَن فَرَّحَ ابْنَةً فَكأنَّما أعْتَقَ رَقَبَةً مِن وُلدِ اسمَاعِيلَ.

“One who goes to the bazaar to buy a present for his family is like one who has given some charity to needy people. One must put a higher priority on giving gifts to his daughters over his sons, since making one’s daughter happy is like freeing a slave from the children of Ishmael

Also please refer to the  following:

https://www.al-islam.org/principles-upbringing-children-ayatullah-ibrahim-amini/chapter-74-physical-punishment

hope. This helps.
regards
N.S.Jaffery