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Very formal relation with my parents


Assalam o Alaikum. I am worried about one thing. Through out my childhood, I wanted admiration from my parents. They stressed on high academic score so I did that. Achieved everything I could even scored admission in medical university. All this along they didn’t made any relation with me, we had nothing to talk about. Even now I try to share things with them about my academic stuff and other things I do in uni but they don’t take interest in them and keep on scolding to not focus much on academic rather household and time with them. But whenever I sit with them I have nothing to talk about. I am worried cause I don’t want Allah’s wrath on me for not being a source of pleasure for my parents and also I fear that this doesnt happen that my own children become distant from me. But I try so hard but cant bring myself to. What should I do. Kindly contact on email


Assalamu Alaykum

Thank you for your Question

I will strongly suggest you let them know of your feelings, needless to say  with a lot of love and respect. If you feel they maybe hurt by your action, then you may want to involve a third trusted person- who they will listen to- and let them know of the same. It is important for them to realize this so that constructive steps are taken.

also, since you’re trying your best to make them happy, then no one knows that better than Allah (swt) Himself. So don’t let the thought of making Allah unhappy (az) worry you. Just continue pleasing them. But it will be better if you are able to connect with them in all ways.

as for your children, I’d sug get at you seek some counseling and hear good lectures on upbringing of children. Many scholars have good Islamic content online. Reference to the Holy Quran and Ahdith by the scholars can help you immensely. On the flip side, you are in a learning process, once you know that what you are going through currently is wrong, you will try your best to do it right with your own children. Make special dua for yourself.

good luck