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Verbal Abuse by Husband/Duties of Men

Q:

What to do if husband verbally abuse his wife and use bad words? What does islam say about this matter?

A:

Bismillah ArRahman ArRaheem 

As Salaamu Alaykum, 
 
Thank you for your question. We are sorry you have had to ask this question… as it indicates that it is happening in the real world among Muslims where as in fact Islam teaches us to respect each other and more importantly for the questioner, to respect the wife! AS should the respect be paid to the husband.
 
We should be taking examples from our role models such as Imam Ali peace be upon him, and his high respect and words of love that he shares with his wife.  
 
We should also be considering the Holy Qur’an and the advice it gives us – such as “”..And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” (30:21)”.  This love and compassion should be shown not only physically and materially with gifts from the husband to his wife, but with words.
 
The narrations teach us this – such as “”The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: ‘The words of a man who tells his wife, ‘I love you truly’, should never leave her heart’.”” – and likewise hurting your wife with abusive words cuts her heart to pieces where as she continues to love him.

And other narrations such as “”Imam as-Sadiq (a.s) stated: ‘Whoever is our friend, expresses his kindness to his spouse more’.””

 
More over, Imam Ali peace be upon him, stopped his soldiers from using foul language even against their enemies on the battlefield – so how can one use foul language when speaking to the one who was created a mate for us, where love and compassion should between us?
 
In terms of what to do – the wife should try her best to determine the reason for the use of such language and to try to remove the cause of it, in consultation with her husband.  It may be through a change of her own behavior, or his.  It may be due to mixing of the wrong friends, or seeing the wrong type of movies, or other forms of mixing in the wrong environments.  In any case, the reasons could be many and a consultation may be necessary to try to correct such behavior.
 
It may be appropriate to read the following for further information on what Islam says on this issue: https://www.al-islam.org/principles-marriage-family-ethics-ayatullah-ibrahim-amini/part-2-duties-men
 
S.L.Al-Hakim