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uttering shirk and kufr words

Q:

I am very going through very terrible situation iam uttering very bad shirk and kufr words from my mouth deliberately ,it is out of my control , sometimes it comes in prayer time and when iam talking to someone plz tell me what to do iam really depressed

A:

Salaamun alaykum
We are really grateful that you chose to share your thoughts and problems with us. And your confession is a good sign and shows that you want to make a change and get closer to Allah (swt), and that is a big step.
So firstly, i feel you have to figure out the root problem and as to when and why all this started. It might be because of the picture that has been put in your mind about islam. I feel the first step to making yourself strong is by strengthening your islamic beliefs, by reading and doing a thorough research on islam and its beliefs. Once you strengthen your beliefs and you start believing islam will all your mind and soul, your problem should get solved InshaAllah.
And we should always keep in mind that shaytan and our nafs are always there to deviate us from the right path and take us away from Allah (swt), so whilst we try our best to strengthen our beliefs and try and stay steadfast, we should constantly be asking Him for help because He is our sole helper and try and keep the connection with him through quran and tawassul of the Ahlul Bayt. And we should never lose hope in Him for that is the greatest sin.
And the above will be a gradual process which will need a lot of will power. You will have to fight your nafs every step of the way to stop this sin, Allah has promised to help those who help themselves. It is a great thing that you know you are going the wrong way and you want to correct yourself but you take a step towards Allah (swt) sincerely and you see how your problem gets solved InshaAllah.
If you have any questions about islam that are not clear for you, feel free to send your questions, InshaAllah that will help you clear out your thoughts and beliefs.

Regards
Zahra Davdani