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torn between my husband and family because of husbands bad temper.


ASA…my husband prays 5 times and also loves me a lot.. the problem is he becomes hyper and uses impolite and rude language at times, be it his parents, brothers or anyone… i try to convey him that its not a good thing to disrespect others even if they are wrong in his opinion only..he should convey his feelings politely…but he can hardly control his anger…
Recently and in the past also he has misbehaved with my parents and brother…they dont say anything to him…he ued bad words for my brother and mother…he spoke to my father rudely and trust they had no fault…still my parents tell me to favour my husband and forget about us….but i feel depressed when i see my husband disrespecting other people.. even God forgives..if my husband doesnt like anyone for a reason that their point of view doesnt match, is it correct he should disrespect that person…..

I love my husband and i love my parents and brothet. I cannot choose one…..and it hurts me when my husband disrespects them…..he has stopped talking to them…..what should i do ? Whats my role here? When i favour my parents he gets angry…
Please tell what should i do?


Assalamun Alykum

Thank you for your question.

It is difficult when you are torn between two people you dearly love. But in your case i don’t see that. you don’t have to choose between your husband and parents. All you need to do is to try and help your husband keep his calm. you can ensure that by supporting him and fill him with love and understanding. Try and acknowledge his good and disregard his bad. Doing this for a while will help him concentrate on his good than bad. If you are able to keep him away from situations that will trigger his behavior then i will really recommend that. Also, if you are able to seek some counseling then that will be ideal. but if not together, you may want to see a therapist so that she can guide you how to handle this first.

As for your parents and family, since they  see you in the situation and understand you, you may want to speak to them one more time and explain how you plan on helping your husband. But, during this time you aren’t meant to keep away from them, you should make sure all the rights of your parents are met to and just continue the way you used to. with a Difference that you are not forcing or putting your husband in a situation that will make him angry or react badly. You may also want to keep him away from your family until you’re able to help him inshaAllah

hope you’re successful