Ask an Alim

Supporting Parents

Q:

My mother has been married to my father for 27 years. Out of this 27 years, My father has been jobless for countless of times. In a year, he would work for 4-6 months and be jobless for the rest of the year. He blames it on his bad luck and faith. He is often choosy and does not like to work hard.

My father has been abusive physically and emotionally during our childhood years that we automatically turn to our mother for everything. My mother on the other hand, has been the sole breadwinner until the past 5 years where we told her to stop working. We asked her to stop working because she has been supporting our father for a long time and it was time that she stops. We started contributing at a young age of 12, since we cannot rely on our father. 15 years later, I got married and so did my other siblings.

My father has been jobless for 5 months already now and he has accumulated some debts over the course. Because of that, he has to sell off his house so that he can clear his debts. They wanted to sell of their house and live with us temporarily. I was against this idea because there are other alternatives that can be considered. My house belongs to my husband and I. We bought it under a joint tenancy. I am reluctant because I have to respect my husband and ensure that he is comfortable in his own home. I feel bad about it but I believe that this would not solve a thing because my mum would give in to my dad again and he would continue his antics. Am I being ungrateful?

A: