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Suicidal thoughts because of Taharat ocd

Q:

Asalamualykum wa rahmatululahi wa barakatahu. jazakAllah for your time and reply, I would appreciate if you can help me. I am struggling a lot with waswasa regarding taharat amongst other things. It has gotten so bad I feel like ending my life and make me ( may Allah forgive me) resentful towards Allah swt I have a 3 year son mashaAllah who get regular scratches or get due to cold weather get blood in mucus from his nose. when I go to make his face paak taking water in my hands from tap, splashes get on his clothes or myself I end up taking a bath and changing his and mine clothes. Though I know the water had no blood in it as the scratch itself was less than a pin head? is the mucus comimg from nose najis if it has traces of dry blood? am i right thinking that any and every splash is najis from little water? if yes this makes life impossible cause water splashes everywhere thats its nature I dont know what to do cause of splashes. I am taking a shower each time I go to bathroom or change my son’s diaper. I am constantly washimg everything if he touched ot or water splashed on it. He is old enough to be potty trained and i am avoiding it cause I cant deal with more taharat najasat issue I am a single mother currently homeless living with friends and family this makes my life very difficult

A:

Assalamu Alaykum sister

Thank you for your Question.

The water from washing the child’s scratches and dried blood mucus is both paak.
pls let it not bother you. As for changing the diapers. You only need to wash your hands for hygiene. Because the content usually doesn’t come into direct contact for Najasah.

sister, Allah loves ease for us.. so please take it easy. No one wants you to do what you’re doing especially Allah (az) Himself. This Taharat rituals were made to make our lives easy and not difficult. So if you’re going through difficulty, it means you’re going towards a wrong end.

also, you must seek some immediate counseling for your thinking. This is very vital. To help you through email will be difficult. But all I can emphasize on is that, Allah has blessed you with a life, and another life inform of your child who is so innocent and Allah (az) found you as the perfect guardian for him. Hence, I’d suggest you concentrate on the brighter side of life and let not anything ruin this opportunity.

please give some charity, and speak to Allah plentiful.

hope all goes well,

N.S.Jaffery