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Seperation from my wife and three kids.


As-Salaam walikum,

My wife of 6 years and 3 children has separated from me, living in social house and claiming child maintenance.

We had a major dispute as she kept saying to me there is no love between us, this was out of the blue, it wasn’t like we didnt ever go out, I always would do anything to make her smile however I, unfortunately, crossed the line in 6 years and pulled her hair. I was apologetic straight away but she sent me to the cell straight away.

I have apologised a million times and given her space as much as I can. I really don’t want us to end as we did try and truly had some great times. But talking to her now we just argue she is moving on with her life and our kids like I mean nothing.

She isn’t concerned about a divorce or talaq and every day becomes sour.

Please advise what I should do?


Waalaykum al-Salam
Thank you for your question

I am sorry to hear of your situation. May Allah unite you again with your family.

It is good to learn you want to mend your life because the presence of both parents is very important for a balanced upbringing of the children. The fact that she is this upset with you only shows that she wasn’t expecting this act from you. As if, she had higher hopes for your relationship than what occurred. To rectify this, you may want to involve the elders of the family, especially those that she would listen to, and or a local Aalim that can help you further.

A public apology, like in front of your and her family would also show your commitment to mend your relationship and announcement for a new beginning. I feel that at this point all she may want to have from you Is assurance.

In the meantime, while you are working on ways to bring the family back together, make sure that you’re fulfilling your obligations like provision of food, clothing, and shelter for them.

Make dua in plenty. It is your time to make strong connections with Allah (az)
Best wishes,