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Right and Obligations of Parents and Children


I am having trouble maintaining relationship with my parents.

I’m 25, single, only child, living in Dubai and have a decent job.
My parents are around 58, living in Pakistan, recently retired and financially sound.

Apart from other matters, we disagree on on two major decisions of my life.

a. I want to marry a Muslim girl from India and they are apposing it. And only accepting it conditionally, i.e. we come to Pakistan. Since, she is from India, it is very difficult because if she gets Pakistani visa on her passport, it will be very risky for her to visit her parents in India in case of emergency. This leads to the second issue.

b. Even apart from above situation, I’d still want to settle abroad. I can afford a family there and I’m also offering my parents to come with me so that I can fulfil my obligations towards them to provide food, shelter, health care and take care of them in other manners.

Now in regards to the scope of obedience I have to abide by, do they have the right to make my stay where they want to or do I have the right to make my career, marital and living choice.

Thank you.


Al-Salam Alaykum

It is very nice to know youth like you are very concern about their obligation toward their parents. be carful and do not let Shaytan to take this feeling for  temporary issues.

About your issues, you must know all of them can be removed by good conversation. first you must know you have the right to make your choices about whom you going to marry or where to live but your parents also have the same right. if they do not want to go abroad respect their decision.

also for the girl you want to marry talk with them; by love and respect. tell them she is close to what they want for their son. she has respect and love for you and your family and this political borders is not changing our human essence. One of the most important thing our prophet teach us is to not be racist. look at his companion Salman from Iran, Abuzar from Hijaz, Billa from Habashe, Meytham from Iraq. all of these shows us we must get together with our thoughts and believe.

try to convince them with calm voice, love in your eye and mutual respect in mind. be creative and find new solution to your problem. maybe your parents do not like a country but they are ready to come with you in another one.

Best regards!