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Fornication & Marriage

Q:

Assalamualikum,

I am very ashamed and embarrassed to say that about a year ago, I was in a relationship in which we committed zinaa a few times. I decided, however, to end the relationship and to seek forgiveness by focusing on salat and dua and constantly repenting for my foolish actions. The girl and I do not speak anymore but she is a Muslim. My parents know all the details of our relationship and wish for us to get married as a form of compensation for our sins but I do not wish to be with her because I felt a negative influence from her during our relationship.

Also, I discovered that she had cheated on me several times during our time together. I have since stayed away from Girls and am much happier now but I am worried about how to compensate for my sins?

Also, when I get married, should I tell my wife of my past sins or not?

In the Quran it says that fornicators will not marry anyone but a fornicatress. So does that mean I should seek out someone who has also committed zinaa? I feel like it would be unfair for a virgin to marry me.

JAK JAK

A:

Salamun Alaykum

Firstly as you say this is a grave sin and it is good that you have
repented. As for revealing sins, it is clearly mentioned in many ahadith
that we should not tell anyone about our sinful behaviour and only
acknowledge our sins in front of God. So keep the matter to yourself and
seek God’s forgiveness and the strength to stay away from such sins.

Judging for the conduct of this girl I would advise that you do not get
involved with her unless you are certain that she is also remorseful and
repentant for her conduct.

The verse in Qur’an is not for you – it refers to habitual adulterers who
are nor repentant or ashamed of the behaviour.

Kind regards

Abbas Jaffer