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Relations with Father

Q:

AOA,
I am a 29 year male currently working in Lahore. My father lives is Sahiwal along with my uncle since we had joint family system. My mother died in 2018 and since then I have been asking my father to come over to my place in Lahore but he has been delaying it. Since now on due to my marriage related issues there is a deadlock since he wants me to get married to girl he chooses for me within our cast whereas my only preference is education and I don’t believe in this cast system. But to break the deadlock I asked him to come to Lahore and we can solve it out by spending some time together. However he refused again and now this time also stopped contacting me. He doesn’t pick my call nor reaponda to my sms. I always sent him money every month for expenses which he also refuse to take now. I however send money to my uncle who says he is giving it to him since he won’t accept it from me. He is 64 and I am also concerned about his health and well being but it is my right to get married with type of person I like. I don’t know what to do and how to break this deadlock as I am also getting tensed about this situation and started to loose myself with the thought if he doesn’t care for me why should I?
I know this is wrong but I want to get settled in life and have my father live with me and family in comfort. I don’t k ow what I have done so wrong that he is doing this with me.
Please guide.

A:

Assalamu Alaykum

Thank you for your Question.

It looks like you are having difference in opinion and Mis-communication with your father.

while it’s true it’s your wish Who you choose to marry, but him being a father is also trying to do the same for his little boy.

I would suggest you go see him instead and show a lot of love and respect for him.
somehow ask him to go with you and then InshaAllah you can take it from there.  You may also want to include an influential person who your father would listen to, to help you out for further Steps.

please see what Imam Sajjad (as) has to say about your father’s right on yourself:

The right of your father is that you know that he is your root. Without him, you would not be. Whenever you see anything in yourself which pleases you, know that your father is the root of its blessing upon you. So praise God and thank Him in that measure. And there is no strength save in God.“

should you wish to see this on the site please refer to the following link

https://www.al-islam.org/treatise-rights-risalat-al-huquq-imam-ali-zayn-al-abidin/rights-womb-relatives#23-right-father

best wishes,
N.S.Jaffery