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Rejecting Marriage Proposals


I am an iraqi shia muslim girl and i do not want to get married. i have no sexual desires and i don’t want any form of romantic relationship at all. I am 17, and my parents have been unhappy due to me rejecting khaatibs. How to i tell them i dont want it? They will guilt trip me and force me into it and i am sure i will not be able to fulfill my role as a wife. I haven’t had a relationship or anything yet my parents seem to think this is the reason for my dislike for getting married. I just wish i could live alone and work or just stay at home with my parents would be okay. I know its disliked not to get married, but its not haram and i really dont want to do it for my parents because i need to be a bit selfish and think of my happiness. I have two elder sisters who are married with children, so i am not depriving my parents of that.

Salaam Alaykum,
You have all the right to reject your suitors but my advice is that before you do that, keep in mind that Allah has sent His mercy on your doorstep and thus you have to at least give it a second thought by meeting and talking to the suitor before making a decision.  If you still think you aren’t ready yet, explain your parents politely without any harshness at all. They only want what’s best for you seeing that you have come of age now, although it is all your right to decide by seeking advice which is a good thing to do specially if it be from a person who is a learned and pious person in your community.
Remember when one gets married, their faith gets completed and their worship becomes more qualitative.  Marriage may have its trials but it has its pleasures too, specially when one has a family with children who come with so many blessings from good and faithful parents.  Therefore, be sure to select a righteous man who will bring a pious generation for you and make a difference in the society.
Don’t rush in deciding anything, always give a second thought to anything you do specially when it comes to a matter of your future life like marriage.
Pray to Allah to make you decide in the best way for your wordly  as well as hereafterly affairs . He is sure to help you inshAllah.
Salma Alavi.