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Regarding Children

Q:

Asalaam salaam,  I wanted to ask regarding my children’s disability money and matter regarding my husband. I have sons that are both autistic an receive disability living allowance. I got really divorced from their father when they was very young and he has not been involved in their lives. Before  i was married tp my second husband I use to use their money on them. Everything they needed nothing else. Since being married to my second husband ( not their father) the children’s money has been going into his account an he uses it to pay bills an other things regarding the house but am not 100% sure what it’s exactly spent on. I am feeling very guilty in terms of the kids money’s doesn’t get spent on them directly. If I was to say to my husband I am going to transfer the children disability money to my account so I can spend it on them an save it for them, am I wrong in this? JazakaAllah khair 

A:

Waalaykum Salaam,

If your children have grown up now and their autism is severe such that they cannot understand how to be independent financially, then the guardianship is on the paternal grandfather and the mother cannot be the guardian in financial matters.  If the father never provided for the children, he cannot be the guardian too, unless he was taking care of their welfare when you separated.  Your second husband cannot be the guardian so although it isnt wrong for you to request for the account to be shifted to theirs or yours, in the case that the real father and grand father cannot handle the responsibility, you also have to.take the matter to your Marja or his representative to.decide who is to be the guardian. This way you or your husband can spend the money on them basically.

Salma Alavi