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Racism and favoritism

Q:

Assalamualaikum,

I like to know if racism and favoritism are haram as I suffered them just because my husband is white while I am Asian. Everywhere I go always my husband got attention first. Do I need to reduce my muslim prayers and deeds to please them. Please help. I suffered deep depression as a result of racism and favoritism.

Thank you.

A:

Salam Alaykum Va Rahmatullah

Any kind of preferences between people because of their race, gender or any kind of attributes that they do not have control over them are Haram. This is the features of materialistic world views which judge people with the different materialistic blessing they have.

Regarding of reducing your Islamic prayers, reducing them would not solve your problems. Vice versa doing so would add to your problems. First; you would lose the spiritual support you get from your religious rituals. Secondly; it would not please them as Quran says,

“وَلَنْ تَرْضَىٰ عَنْكَ الْيَهُودُ وَلَا النَّصَارَىٰ حَتَّىٰ تَتَّبِعَ مِلَّتَهُمْ ۗ قُلْ إِنَّ هُدَى اللَّهِ هُوَ الْهُدَىٰ ۗ وَلَئِنِ اتَّبَعْتَ أَهْوَاءَهُمْ بَعْدَ الَّذِي جَاءَكَ مِنَ الْعِلْمِ ۙ مَا لَكَ مِنَ اللَّهِ مِنْ وَلِيٍّ وَلَا نَصِيرٍ”

Never will the Jews be pleased with you, nor the Christians, unless you followed their creed. Say, ‘Indeed it is the guidance of Allah which is [true] guidance.’ And should you follow their desires after the knowledge that has come to you, you will not have against Allah any guardian or helper”

Thirdly; even their racism act would get worst because they feel weakness in you and say, if it was right why did you leave your rituals and if it was right why do you leave it know?

But about what can you do. I suggest you first to show them your strength and act all powerful; power through and as westerner say go girl! 🙂 follow your religious duties with power and persistence. Show them you follow the right path no matter what. This make them accept and respect you. Showing them weakness give them more power and right (in their mind).

Secondly; in my experiences your religious duties can be the sources for binding with others. If you have enough knowledge about the philosophy and benefit of your religious duties and rituals, you can use this beneficial knowledge to gain the interests and respect for yourself and your rituals.Imam Reza(A.S) said, “لو علم الناس محاسن کلامنا لاتبعوانا” If people knew our (truthful and) beautiful messages, they would follow us. You can be the messanger for the message of Islam and Ahlulbeyt and benefit from the blessing of both world.

Thirdly; show them your abilities, gifts and talents. If you have talent in any field (art, sciences, housekeeping etc) show them. Many of such issues rooted in our low self-esteem. You can start to learn a new art etc to elevate your spirit and confidence.

If you feel it is necessary you can get consulting help also. Staying in touch with an Alim who knows about personal and family consulting could give you good boost.

We have best regards for you!

Regards
Sayid Madani.