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Qadr: Free Will & Fixed Destiny


I have a small query/confusion please help me understand it.

Is our life partner/spouse a part of our fixed Qadar or our choice? A lot of people say its Kismet some say totally choice and your own decision. But if our parents are predestined we have no control to choose to whom we will be born to, then isn’t the parent’s marriage pre destined? Because if Allah wants a Ruh to come He will make it happen and two people who are to be the parents of that Ruh will get together? Also is Rizq or wealth also predestined or based on hard work?

Jazak Allah Khair


Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

Everything that happens to man is written in man’s destiny, but it does not conflict with man’s free will and the role of Duas.  Because what is written in the destiny is according to the conditions and causes, including free will and supplication. For example, it is destined that if someone prays on such and such day, his illness will be cured.

These things and thoughts are the wrong concepts that one blames everything and every mistake on fate and destiny. Allah(swt) has sent us with free will which means we can make decisions and make right or wrong decisions. We cannot throw every evil thing on predestination.

Some things are predestined such as when to come into this world which we do not have in our hands but once we are born we are being given the free will to decide. And on the other hand, the choice of who we marry depends on our own free will even if Allah(swt) has pre-eternal knowledge of our choices.

As you have also pointed that it is not in our hands when or where to be born in this world. But once we are born, besides having the freewill and choice, it depends on us who to marry. That is why it is said to do complete research before marriage before falling into difficulties. People wouldn’t research later and adequately leave everything on predestination and Allah(swt).


Yes it is predestined when and where to be born and we have no choice in that but it doesn’t mean that our parents were forced to marry without their free will. Allah(swt) knows when and where to send the soul into this world.

Think about the haram relationship between non-mahram and a person being born because of fornication. Does this mean Allah(swt) has predestined the soul to come into this world in the Haram way? Of course not. Allah(swt) doesn’t want or like people being born illegitimately but as there is cause and effect and Allah(swt) doesn’t remove the effect if the cause is present,  therefore, the child is born even from the haram relation.


To learn more in-depth regarding fate and destiny please read:

There is a discussion called “Predestination and free-will”. I will recommend you to read about it in detail on:

Literal Meanings of `Qadha’ and `Qadar’:

May Allah(swt) grant you success


Syed Haider