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Objection to marriage

Q:

As-salamu Alaykum,
My name is Azka Hassan, and I am a Muslim from the Maldives. Thank you for this available resource!
I am facing an issue which has become an obstacle in following the true path.
I was not very close to religion before, and I used to engage in haram relationships. For two years, I was with someone. We knew each other in ways we shouldn’t have. The relationship came to an end but we started talking again, and both of us changed. We were different and we encouraged each other and helped each other to find our way back to religion. We are students studying for our degree in America and Malaysia. After the degree, he plans to take an internship somewhere else, and if I get the opportunity for to pursue a masters, I will. This will take roughly 8 years.
Him and I want to get married because we wish to continue our relationship the right way. We wanted to get married for the sake of religion and Allah. We have known each other since we were 6 years old, and we were together from when we were 17, till 19. We are now 20 and we wish to get married because we do not want to wait 8 years as we know it is haram.
My mother does not directly object to the marriage. I can surely say that she doubts it even if she does not disagree. But my father objects to this marriage. He says we are too young and that we should wait till we finish our education. I have waited for a month for my father’s reply, I have been patient with him, I have not raised my voice at all I have also tried asking for help from my mother (my parents are divorced and have communication issues) and I have tried my best to tell him that I want to follow the path of Islam. After a month, my father told me to leave him. I talked to my mother and she asked me to wait for a year before getting married. She said that it was okay as we are only talking, and as we are talking with the intentions of marriage. Knowing that I had no control over the situation, I called my father and mended things, but I don’t know if this is the right conclusion. I certainly do not feel that it is. It feels like I am doing the wrong thing by agreeing to delay this marriage.
What shall I do?

Best wishes,
Azka Hassan

A:

Waalykum salam

Thank you for your Question

Marriage is a very important mile stone in ones life and we must be very careful when choosing a better half. I’m glad that you are standing at the point where you are trying to mend past faults.

It is important to know that according to the Islamic laws, it is obligatory upon a non consummated girl to obtain her father or paternal grandfather’s permission for marriage. If she doesn’t have this, the Nikah will be void. But it’s not the case for man. He is free to make his own decision.
Although it’s ethically befitting for a boy to ask permission from his parents to carry along thier blessings InshaAllah.

Above is mentioned to let you know where you might be standing Islamic laws wise.

On a side note, the best thing I can say is to pray and be patient. You have done your best with talking and explaining and trying your best, so it’s just wise to see what results it gives you.
Should you fear to fall in a sin then you must speak to your local Alim to speak to your parent and get his permission.
On the other hand, our parents Have far more experience than us. Hence, it will be best to hear him out and see what his argument is against the knot.

In the end, I pray for the best for you. If its meant to, it will come and if not I’m sure Allah (az) has the best stored for you. Just Ask Him (az) and He will handle the rest.

Regards,
N.S.Jaffery