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Obedience towards a Man??


why does a muslim woman we has no say in our own lives. before marriage we have to obey our fathers, after marriage we have to obey our husbands. I refuse to get married because of it, how can another person has more say in my life than myself??? and the thing is obedience is not just adviced it’s a MUST else you’ll be punished, are we basically just pet animals?…..i see only two options ahead of me, to give up on my iman or to give up on my life, and the latter seems to be lesser of the two evils. any advice?


Al-Salam Alaykum

for obedience toward parents, it is same for men and women. as for husband also, it does not mean one have to obey him in every thing. more over in a hadith Our prophet said,  Mu’min eats whatever his family like  and hypocrite force his family to eats what he wants.

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ (ص) الْمُؤْمِنُ يَأْكُلُ بِشَهْوَةِ أَهْلِهِ وَ الْمُنَافِقُ يَأْكُلُ أَهْلُهُ بِشَهْوَتِهِ.

I ask you when a Mu’min is this obedient to his family in such trivial thing, can he be a great monarch in the family?

this shows the obedience in Islamic family is not absolute. it is based on mutual love and respect. however you must understand every social group need a leader or it could not function properly. based on our Islamic teachings even a group of two must have a leader.

unfortunately in some culture they put too much pressure on woman but it is not based on the Islamic teachings. the culture is dominant and people use the religion as an excuse to justify  their action.

Best regards!