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Not wanting to have any more kids and the reason is my wife


Assalamu-u-alaikum Ya Sheikh.

Sheikh, I do not have the peace of mind and I want you to help me out here.
Sheikh, I got married in 2017 and it little over 2 years now and Alhumdulillah I have a beautiful Son however I do not want to have any more kids with my wife.
After the wedding for few months everything was perfect but everything started to change and now I am not Happy and have lost the peace of mind completely.

1: In Ramadan of 2017 she saw some mails in my mail box which was from some girl dated 2013 and she doubted on me. She called up her parents and I was insulted.
But very soon I forgot everything and all was back to normal.

2: Later my wife had problems with my work because sometimes my work required me to stay up till late 2-3 times it got very late in night and she used to get angry and I used to pacify her but once she was in her Mother house and I was at work and that day I had to stay up on the site for 24 hours. I was suppose to pick her up and go to our house (mine is joint family) but when i left site in morning after Fajr she didnt even pick my call. She messaged me to pick her in evening which I tried and then she said she’ll not come. I was again Insulted and humiliated by her parents and brother

3: Once due to some miscommunication with her and my mother, she called her father and left my house without anybody’s permission and while leaving she told me with arrogance that she’ll never come back and if I want her I need to buy a new house for her and stay without my parents. However this was also sorted out by all elders and she came back.

but by now I was losing my peace.

4: My wife and her parents always mentioned that I work a lot and earn less. My Salary was not sufficient for her and told words which broke my heart.

5: I started travelling to other cities for work and used to stay away from home. My wife said, If I am not at home she’ll go to her mother’s home and will come back only when I come. Initially i disagreed but later we agreed and sent her but during this period also I was insulted for my less Salary.

6: Now, I have left my country and working in the middle east. I am alone here and she has taken my son stays at her mother’s place. My Parents being the Grandparents of my son they long to see their grandson but my wife doesn’t come home.

She only comes home if she has something important or some errands to run.

7: Now just a few weeks back there was Aqeeqa ceremony of her relative. My mother gave her a gift. She took that gift to give it to her relative however she and her mother told everyone that it was she who got the gift and my mother didnt gifted anything.

Sheikh, she doesn’t listen to me. She doesnt respect me and my family. She lies to me and my family. She Insults me and my family. She has left my home and told that she’ll come when i come.

I am fed up and frustrated. I tried to make her understand many times but i was always without luck and the reason is her parents.

Her dad says to her that if you have any problem leave your house and come to me.

Its not that it’s all and only bad things have happened. Like I said there were also good things but so much bad has happened that I have lost all happiness and regret getting married.

These are the reasons I dont want to have any more kids with her.
Please tel me if my decision is right.

Thank you.


Thank you for your question. Children need a stable family life to thrive and so your decision not to have more children for the time being is a rational one.

Sometimes in a marriage issues get out of hand and especially with distance relationships are more complicated. When there are other people’s feelings involved it can sometimes feel like there is no way to please everyone. The most important cornerstone in these types of situations is honest, good willed, communication, and that needs to happen on both sides. You and your wife need to be on the same page about your work and the way of life you want to lead. If the distance is too much of a problem, a compromise has to be reached on the financial expectations of your wife.

IA may Allah help you in your situation

Zoheir Ali.