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Not being able to get married to someone i want to


Salaam, there is someone i’ve been getting to know and we both want to get married and make it halal as soon as possible. But both our families would not accept this marriage and may break the families up. He is my aunty’s brother-in-law. What would you advise us to do?


Salaamun alaykum sister,
Thank you for your email.

First of all, I would like to say that it is OK to select/ prefer someone with the intention of marriage but you have to know that a daughter who has not been married before need the permission of her father or grandfather in order for her nikah to be valid.

2Question: I am a virgin girl, do I need to seek my father’s permission for temporary or permanent marriage?
Answer: Yes, it is necessary.

Parents are the most important people in ones life so it would be better if both of you get into this relationship with your parents approval.
Each of you can sit down with your parents, find the right time and put everything on the plate, try and understand the reason of their disapproval. Maybe they have valid reasons. And if they donot, then you can mention the positive things about the boy and he can mention positive things about you to his parents, and I am sure if they see you are giving them importance, they might agree to the marriage.
If that doesn’t work, you can try to find someone in your family whom both sides trust and can talk to them about the two of you.
And most important of all, you should pray to Allah (swt) and ask Him for the best and if he is good for you then He should open ways for your marriage so I think it would be best if you do not take your relationship further at the moment as you are namahram to each other and also if things don’t work out, it will be difficult to get over it.
May Allah (swt) help us walk on His path every step of the way and help us take those decisions which will get us closer to Him. Ilaahi Ameen.

Kind regards,