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No privacy from inlaws


Assalamu alaikum,

Am married for 5 years now and I stay with my mother inlaw.. My husband has 3 sisters who stay close to our house… the issue is my sister inlaws land up every single weekend with their families so that they can have fun here.. nothing matters to them, even if I  am unwell they never change their plans. Every vacation every holiday is spent at my house because their mother is here.. I have no choice left to do anything different apart from being with them and I  am very very stressed..My life juggles only between my inlaw and I have no one from my parents family in this country..

My husband is very supportive but can never say a word to his sisters or mothers.. he likes spending time with his brother inlaws too so they all end up spending time at my place.

I want to know if its islamically fine? That I dont get my privacy my life depends on my inlaw’s plans.. Is it right? What can I do about it?



Wa alaykum salam

Thank you for your question.

This is one of the problems many women have to deal with, especially in the sub-continental countries.

According to Islamic Sharia, it is the duty of both husband and wife to take care of each other’s needs and comfort. Islam is a balanced religion and has specified rights for both men and women. The other members of the family have their own rights which have to be taken care of. None of the rights interfere with each other.

But unfortunately, some of the customs prevailing in some families are not in accordance with Islamic rules, and as a result, a lot of burden is put on one or a few members of the family.

And you know it takes a lot of effort and time to change these customs and norms.

You have two options in front of you:

Take a stand and refuse to do the extra work imposed on you which In my opinion is not a good idea because it can cause chaos in your home, and especially in your relationship with your husband.

The second option is to prioritize your duties. Perform those duties which are very important yourself and take assistance for the rest of the work. As you said your husband is supportive, so you can ask him to arrange for a helper for you. You can also very respectfully explain to your inlaws and your husband that you need privacy and have some rights as a human which they need to respect.
You can politely explain to your husband about your issues and distress, and slowly excuse yourself from each and every gathering, or at least part of the gathering. Mind you sister, this will have to be very gradual so that you are not hurting the harmony of the entire family. Because your husband is part of the harmonious circle. And any damage to that will effect your creation with him.

Apart from that, make dua for yourself. Speak to Allah in plenty as HE loves to hear ot from you now and again. InshaAllah you will see the fruits of it.
constantly also recite “La hawla wala Quwata illa billah al-aliyil adhim” 

InshaAllah with Allah’s help, your problems will be solved.

AAA under the guidance of Sukaina Taqavi