The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

New marriage issues

Q:

Assalam alaikum. I have had my nikkah done last year in August. My wife and I do not live together because I will graduate next year and she does not want to move from country to country with me . She wants to stay with me in a single place. The question I want to ask is that my wife does not like to share anything about her with me, she knows me in and out all of my stories and secrets but I still do not know much about her . Whenever I ask her she says after rukhsati she will tell me. And I would like to add that before our nikkah she reached out to me and asked me if we could chat with each other sometimes. I know this was wrong but I decided to honour her wishes and we started talking. At that time she used to express her love to me alot but then suddenly after 2 months she stopped talking altogether. Then we had our nikkah and we started talking again but now she never says that she loves me and once I asked her straight forward and she said that she does not know. Another thing is that our relationship goes on smoothly and then after a month or 2 she stops replying to me on chats. She never agrees to speak to me on video call and rarely sends me her voice notes. A little while ago she even snapped when I asked her to send me her picture saying that she never takes any pictures and I always ask her for her pictures. As I don’t have a father I don’t know who to turn to and I would never want my wife to be tied to me out of spite. I have always loved her and have always wanted my wife to love me as well. Please help me as these things are always there on my mind and I am always depressed due to these issues

A:

Salamun Alaykum

Thank you for your query.

There can be different factors and possibilities for this case such as the girl has someone else in her mind, maybe you did some mistake due to which she is dealing this way, or she is in some bad condition or under pressure hence doesn’t feel easier to speak and reveal the truth now.

If you see talking to her is not working out then you can try to speak with your father/mother-in-law to find out if there is any problem. You may at least get an idea. It will be best to find out the problem before you both are settled together and then you face problems.
It is very important that your wife knows of your concerns and should address them immediately. and try and explain that you need to have clear communication for a fruitful future.

Along with this, pray five times a day, recite Qur’an every day and recite Hadithe Kisa and ask Allah(swt) to help you out in this situation.

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

AAA under the guidance of Syed Haider