The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

Ask an Alim

Husband Wife Rights


Salam! I want to ask that as quran says that man is hakim over his wife. I just want to ask that to how much extent a man can order his wife.Like if a husband order/ request his wife to take care of his mother and family as he has to go out for work which normally takes a day, and his wife refuses to do so and reply that it is not her duty to take care of her husband’s family. Then is it cosidered as a disobedience to her husband or not?? If yes then what are the shariah ahkam in this manner.Kindly guide me.


Walikum salam

Thank you for your question.

A similar Question was asked prior to yours:

Is it wrong if I ask my wife to cook & look after their necessities.


I got married in 2016 & left my wife with my parents who didn’t treat her good(treated her same as to the elder daughter in law who was comfortable with that treatment)because of which there was a tiff between my parents and my wife. My parents asked my wife to leave the house to which I asked her to go to her aunts place for a couple days and then return. Things took an ugly turn and we had to go through a separation (which involved my parents being defamated).
But as me and my wife didn’t want to get separated we got remarried with some assistance from my parents. Now we are together and working hard to have a better life. Recently, my Sister is expecting to have a baby because of which my parents are planning on visiting her and my place for a brief period (2-3 months). Is it wrong if I ask my wife to cook & look after their necessities. I have never asked (forced) her to cook & clean for me anytime instead we go out and get food when she doesn’t feel like cooking. I actually work two jobs to support our livelihood (because of all the above reasons we are in loans & I have to support my wife’s education). Please advice based on Hadith from sahih bukhari & guidance from Quran. Jazakallah khair for ur help.


Waalykum salam
Thank you for your Question

According to Shia ithanasheri fiqh, a wife is not obliged to cook and look after her husband. However it is ethically just right and appropriate for her to do so.

Women are fashioned by Allah (az) in such a way that they have an art and patience into doing things and life after marriage is more just like that.

Infact, life after marriage is a like a body that is moving on two efforts. Yours and hers! Therefore, there needs to be some distribution of work and effort.
Usually, woman becomes the home minister while the man chases the foreign business. This has been the norm and the practice. And in Islam also we see that a great Man like Ali in Abitalib looked after the outside of home affairs (while also helping his wife in the house) and his wife Noble Bibi Fatimah (s) took care of the house and children.

Therefore, your life so far sounds compatible with one another.

As for your parents, although she isn’t obliged to do that for them but it will be extremely nice of her to look after them for a short period.
In fact, I feel it’s an opportunity for her to patch up with them and gather the extra blessings that entails the good.

Either way, you are the middle man and need to make sure that both sides are happy and don’t feel you are on the opposite side.

Therefore, provide that support for your wife to help her look after your parents and also go an extra mile on your own efforts to ensure your parents comfort

InshaAllah the time goes by good and you achieve good results


AAA team.