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My wife hid her past before marriage….


My wife was not a virgin when we got married and she hid her past relationships from me.. I want to leave her since I don’t trust her… she did not tell me because of being scared of loosing me, I believe this is on a false pretense , Please advise.


Al-Salam Alaykum

Thank you for your Question.

If she hid her past marriage from you, it is much a different case. It is not the right thing to do but in a irritating and distressing situation we must look from the other side. It is completely natural for her to be afraid you get doubt if you knew about a failed marriage. I emphasizing again it is not the right thing to do but it is acceptable if she claim “I was afraid of losing you”. This is the first step you must take; Understanding her point.  But what to do is another story!

Marriage must be build on trust. otherwise it leads to constant doubt, suspicion and destroy your mental peace and trust is something between two.  you must find the answer of some question with honesty(sometimes we lie to ourselves):

How you can trust her again? Is there anyway for her to gain your trust again?

My first humble advise to you is to remember that everybody can make a mistake. We can not judge people. even though you may have to separate your ways but you can not make a judgment.

second, if somebody made a mistake in the past, can be the purest in the future. the only root for our decision must not be the past. update your assessment of people base on what you see today. always make a room for repentance.

third, after all of these,  if you can not build your trust again without judging her separate your way . As Quran says, “either an honorable retention, or a kindly release ”

I will suggest, you go to an Alim who knows you and you trust him. some one who knows about family consultant. Don’t be shy for getting help and then take it from there.

best regards!

Sayyyid Madani