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My wife exposed my sin to my sisters, despite of me apologizing and repenting….

Q:

I have been caught by my wife having a vulgar talk with a lady, she’s very angry with me now and I have given her a oath that I will never do such things ever in my life again and I said I have given this oath to My Allah and seeking forgiveness from Allah as well,
I said to her not to tell anyone But she told my sisters is this A good act she done?…,
I touched her feet and ask forgiveness many times with having tears in my eyes and huge guilt in my heart… But even then she did it,

But she did it after my stopping her many times,
What should I do now?
And did she do a right thing according to Islam?…
I am not defending myself I was wrong I know but I am asking about her act was it Islamic?…

A:

Salamun Alaykum

Thank you for your query.

O you who believe! Turn (in repentance) to Allah with sincere repentance; Perhaps your Lord will remove your evil from you… (Holy Qur’an, 66: 8)

Some of the essentials and conditions for Tawbah are:

  1. To remorse over the past.
  2. The resolution not to return to it ever.
  3. To return to creatures their (formerly usurped) rights so that you meet God Almighty in a state of purity in which no one has any claim against you. 
  4. That you fulfil every duty that you neglected in order to satisfy your obliga­tion in respect to it. 
  5. That you attend to the flesh of your body that has grown on unlawful nourishment so that it melts away as a result of grief and mourning and your skin adheres to your bones, after which new flesh grows in its place. 
  6. That you make your body taste the pain of obedience in the same way as it earlier tasted the pleasure of sins. When you have done these things then say Astaghfirul­lah!
    [Nahj alBalagha, saying 417]

Imam Baqir (as):“One who repents from sin is like the one who has not sinned..” [AlKulayni, alKafi, kitab al‘iman wa alkufr, bab alTawbah, hadith 10]

 

As you mentioned that you made an oath with Allah swt and with your wife that you won’t repeat it again. When Allah swt forgives the true repentance and accepts the Tawbah then the human being should also be flexible in this case. The good thing what you did after the haram action(vulgar talk with na Mahram) was that you repented and you had the guilt in your heart that you would never repeat it but unfortunately the bad thing which happened with you in result to your action which shouldn’t have happened, as you already made and oath with Allah swt and your wife that you would never repeat it.

يَجِبُ لِلْمُؤْمِنِ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِ أَنْ يَسْتُرَ عَلَيْهِ سَبْعِينَ كَبِيرَةً

Imam Baqir (as) said: “It is wajib upon Momin to hide momin’s seventy sins.” [Kulayni, Kafi, vol 2, page 205]

We clearly understand from the teachings of Islam that one should conceal and hide others’ sins.

We must not reveal others’ sins especially when the person has repented. If we don’t conceal and hide others’ sins Allah swt may not conceal our sins.

On your side, leave everything on Allah swt and perform good deeds to get closer to Allah swt and indeed He will help you.

Recite Quran every day, pray on time and do Tawassul with Ahlul Bayt(as) and recite Salawat Tasbeeh and send its reward to Masumeen (as).

Wassalam,

Syed Haider