The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

My wife doesn’t want 2nd kid

Q:

As’Salam u alaikum
I got married in December 2018 & I have a baby son now.
But my wife she doesn’t want more kids. But I want more kids.

Please tell me in light of Quran and Hadith what should I do???
What are my rights?

Thank you

A:

Salaamun alaykum
6Question: Some women wish to avoid pregnancy, but their husbands want (them to get pregnant). Is it permissible to use pills or injections to prevent conception?
Answer: It is necessary for a woman to submit herself to her husband and be available for him. However, she can use pills to prevent conception even if her husband does not want her to do so.
https://www.sistani.org/english/qa/01139/
So islamically the husband cannot force the wife to have children

But there are many ahadith which encourage having more children:
1-قال النبی: تزوجو الودود الولود فانی مکاثر بکم الانبیاء یوم القیامه
The Holy Prophet ( saw ) has said: Marry a woman who loves you and gives birth to many children for this will be an honor and a source of pride for me on the day of judgement.(wasail al shia)

قال النبی (ص) ألا أخبركم‏ بنسائكم‏ من أهل الجنّة؟ الودود الولود الوود
The Holy Prophet ( saw ) has said: Should I let you know of the best women of paradise? A woman who loves her husband, gives birth to many children and is loyal(wasail al shia)

قال النبی (ص) إِنَ‏ خَيْرِ نِسَائِكُمْ‏ الْوَلُودَ الْوَدُودَ وَ الْعَفِيفَةَ
The Holy Prophet ( saw ) has said: The best of your women are those who give birth to many children, are kind and loving and chaste.(wasail al shia)

Bikr bin Saalih says: I wrote to Imam kadhim (as) that it has been five years I am avoiding to have children and this is because my wife is not inclined to have children. My wife says: Due to poverty, the upbringing and training of a child is difficult for me; what is your opinion on this? The Imam wrote back saying: اطلبوا الولد فإن الله عز و جل یرزقهم- You seek children and Allah (swt) will provide for them.

قُلْ مَنْ يَرْزُقُكُمْ مِنَ السَّماءِ وَ الْأَرْضِ أَمَّنْ يَمْلِكُ السَّمْعَ وَ الْأَبْصارَ وَ مَنْ يُخْرِجُ الْحَيَّ مِنَ الْمَيِّتِ وَ يُخْرِجُ الْمَيِّتَ مِنَ الْحَيِّ وَ مَنْ يُدَبِّرُ الْأَمْرَ فَسَيَقُولُونَ اللَّهُ فَقُلْ أَ فَلا تَتَّقُون (یونس، 31)
Say, ‘Who provides for you out of the sky and the earth? Who controls [your] hearing and sight, and who brings forth the living from the dead and brings forth the dead from the living, and who directs the command?’ They will say, ‘Allah.’ Say, ‘Will you not then be wary [of Him]?’

وَ ما مِنْ دَابَّةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ إِلاَّ عَلَى اللَّهِ رِزْقُها وَ يَعْلَمُ مُسْتَقَرَّها وَ مُسْتَوْدَعَها كُلٌّ في‏ كِتابٍ مُبين (هود، 6)
There is no animal on the earth, but that its sustenance lies with Allah, and He knows its [enduring] abode and its temporary place of lodging. Everything is in a manifest Book.

***sometimes some would avoid having more children because of their financial situation. The above verses and hadith mention that Allah(swt) is our sole provider and He has promised sustenance for every being. So we should trust and rely on Him only.

Maybe your wife does not want to have more children for a specific reason or some sort of fear, maybe by giving her a chance to pour her heart out , you could be able to find the exact reason to her denial and then sort it out, that way InshaAllah you will be able to convince her.

Regards
Zahra Davdani.