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My parents want me to divorce my wife or they will disown me ?

Q:

My parents want me to divorce my wife or they will inherit me ? What should I do
Parents feel my wife hasnt met their demands and have ruined their image in relatives

A:

Salamun Alaykum

Thank you for your query.

Divorce is one of the most abhorrent thing in the sight of Allah(swt).

Islam tolerates divorce and separation of a husband and wife under specific conditions; however, Islam regards divorce as abhorrent and reprehensible. Thus, it has been censured in Hadith. Imam Sadiq(as) has said:

عن أبی عبدالله (ع) قال: إنَّ الله عزّ و جلّ یحبّ البیت الذی فیه العرس، و یبغض البیت الذی فیه الطلاق، و ما من شیء أبغض من الطلاق.

Verily, Allah loves a house in which a wedding is held and hates a house in which a divorce is conducted and there is nothing more hateful than divorce. (Wasa’il ush-Shi‘ah, vol. 22, p. 7)

In another hadith from Imam Sadiq(as) it is narrated:

عن أبی عبدالله (ع) قال: ما من شیءٍ اُحلّه الله أبغض إلیه من الطلاق، و إنّ الله یبغض المطلاق الذّواق

Among that which Allah has made permissible there is nothing He hates more than divorce and Allah hates a man who divorces and marries many women. (Wasa’il ush-Shi‘ah, vol. 22, p. 8)

Please note some of the points:

  1. There should be a valid reason to divorce your wife. Just parent’s words wouldn’t validate it to divorce.
  2. If you are satisfied from your wife and there is a mutual understanding between both of you then there is no problem in husband and wife relation but if you think she is not fulfilling her marital duties without any valid reason that may turn up as an issue.
  3. You have to check why the parents feel that she hasn’t met the demands of your parents. Is it due to culture differences, she doesn’t help them out, they don’t like her personally, it was a love marriage etc. Once you find the main reason, you can start working on it.
    Let’s say she doesn’t help in house, you can ask her to help in house since you have mutual understanding with her. If you work on this, you will definitely see the changes.
  4. The parent’s shouldn’t impose that they will not let you get from their inheritance. There should be a valid reason to separate.
    If the things do not go to the extent of Aaq-ul-Walidain then, analyzing the scenario and making it better would be the best option to carry on with it especially if you have children.
  5. We are not infallible and there would be some/many things which others will not like. But the disliking shouldn’t become a hurdle in breaking up relations with each other. Neither, you or your wife’s relation be cut down, nor they feel their image has been ruined.

I pray the things get better and you can have a prosperous life .

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

Syed Haider