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My parents are not understanding me, they being rude to me, due to which I am developing bitter feelings for them


Assalam Alekum respected Ulema .|

I am 30 years old engineering graduate .I am under tremendous depression because of the rude & unsympathetic behavior of my parents towards me . I am unemployed and only son of my parents ( i have 3 sisters ) . due to my unemployment my parents have very rude behaviour towards me. they always try to belittle me infront of my relatives & known people . They do not respect me. Under the influence of my relatives their rudeness towards me is increasing day by day .. i am under depression and frustrated i had a job but i left it and now i have minimum earning so that i only fulfill my own expenses.

Kindly guide me , what should i do .. because of their rudeness i am losing love towards my parents … i have bitter feelings for them now. instead of understanding my misery they are increasing my mental torture.


Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your question

Parents must not be rude. But on the other hand, you must respect them more and more which would help in the situation to settle down. As our responsibility towards parents is to always obey them unless they ask to perform a thing which is against the commands of Allah swt.

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was) little.

Speak to your parents so they understand your state and ask your parents to pray for you which will be very helpful.

Unemployment is the story of millions of people in this pandemic situation. Don’t think it’s the case just with you but millions of people who were employed, unfortunately, have lost their jobs because of the Covid. You can have many opportunities in the engineering field. If you have left the job yourself then keep finding a job and once you start the job, things will definitely get better as you are only the son of your family.

There are ups n downs in everyone’s life and the struggles are a sort of test from Allah swt or the result of our own doings.

Ask Allah swt for help and do your best on your side to speak to your parents to tell your feelings and know the cause of their behaviour and find the new job.

Try not to let depression overcome rather keep working on the things mentioned above which would help in getting things better.


Syed Haider