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My parents are not coming on a middle ground with regards to who i want to marry.


This will be very long to read but I cant ask my question without telling you these small detalils, please bear.
i have got some urgent query.

Allah is in control of everything!
So, basically, me and my parents are not coming on a middle ground with regards to who i want to marry. It may sound absurd.

My parents in ramadan 2018 went to makkah and made a dua for my marriage there he met an uncle who was making a similar dua for his sons.
And thats how they met infront of the kabbah (Allah is all wise)

I am only 23, and my parents being all frank would encourage me to make dua for myself for marriage and i did. So during undergrad i met someone in university just before ramadhan 2018.
And i told my family shortly afterwards and so did he.

He was rejected shortly afterwards due to main reasons 1) his parents were seperate. 2) they were from different part of the country.
My parents didn’t consider speaking to his parents let alone meeting them and then judging them.

Ramadan 2019. he flew from england to do umrah and meet my father when he was in madina. But he and his mother were assaulted and disrespected. When i stuck to my decision i faced some consequences too not to mention they tried explaining me but i thought their reasons were not valid.

Since ramadan 2019 i have been waking for tahajud every night and makinv dua to Allah for ease and to get married to the person i want to.

my father has already accepted the proposal he found infront of kabbah, and has made some formal talks with them, knowing i am not in agreement but as a father he says he knows the best to which i would never disagree.

Despite that i told my parents i cant marry the man they want me get married to to which theyre saying we should be scared of Allah’s wrath because he found the proposal infront of kabbah and sent by Allah

Now my question to you is what do I do? I am really exhausted to the point i cry almost every day to Allah. This whole situation has impacted my everyday life. I hate to upset my parents. Now what i do? I am fearful of Allah’s wrath. I want to marry someone i like but my parents want me to get married to someone they prefer. I have been told i am disrespecting my parents by saying no to them when we all know a girl has a right to choose her spouse.


Wa alaykum salaam

Thank you for your question.

Allah has given this right to both the girl and the boy that they can choose their own partners. Nobody can force either of them to get married to someone they don’t like. The first condition for nikah is acceptance.
Therefore according to Allah’s sharia your father cannot force you into marrying someone you dont like.
If you think the boy you like is eligible in all ways then you should ask someone whom your parents trust,to speak to them like a trustworthy person in your family,neighbourhood, friends……or an aalim. They should explain to them the boy you like is a good boy and …..
Also keep in mind there are somethings we really want but its not good for us.
Therefore keep on praying and ask Allah for the best. If it doesn’t work out despite all the efforts and prayers, you should know this marriage is not good for you.Allah is all knowing.

Sukaina Taqawi.