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my iman is very low.

Q:

Asalamualaikum. .recently I’ve been going through something’s. This not a question rather more of a call for help. I’ve been dealing with many problems in my life, mainly with my deen. My spirituality and my Iman have become very weak. There are so many sins that I’ve committed and so many things that I’ve done and do, that I’m sure by now I’ve reached a point where I could be considered a disbeliever. Here re the things that I believe have made me a disbeliever.
1) I don’t love Allah has he should be loved: A person cannot be a believer until he loves Allah and his prophet (s.a.w) more then himself. As for me, my love for Allah and his prophet is very weak. If anything, I feel like I have no love for Allah and his prophet. I love this dunya more then Allah and his prophet.
2) I don’t fear Allah alone: I don’t fear Allah as he should be feared. I fear people and jinn and other things, but I have no fear for Allah.
3) I have many diseases in my heart: I have all the diseases of the hart you could think of in my heart. Jealously, anger, hatred for others, pride, arrogance, looking down on others etc.
4) Doubt: I often doubt Allah, the prophets, the quran and many other things. I sometimes even doubt islam.

These are only a few of my problems. I have many other problems that have taken me away from Allah. I don’t know where to start. Just this morning I missed fajr prayer. I’m in serious help, because fear I may die in this condition. I’m sure all these things have made me a kafir. So please help me. Jazak Allah.

A:

Waalykum salam

thank you for your Message

I must say you are a very strong and brave person, and I’m sure you will make it through very well because I see that thirst in your writing

kindly refer to the following link for answer on repentance.

and also remember that Do not despair from Allah’s mercy as that is a grave sin.

Allah says in the holy Quran (Al-Zumar:53)

۞ قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Meaning: Say [that Allah declares,] ‘O My servants who have committed excesses against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed Allah will forgive all sins. Indeed, He is the All-forgiving, the All-merciful.

hope this helps,

regards

N.S.