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Conflict With Spouse

Q:

Please i want to ask you that my married life is not going good and i have too much stress . My husband got an extra amount of soft corner for his family back home but not for me he sends them plenty of money and dont save for our future . It doesnt mean he didnt give me money but i dont know i cant tolerate him sending money at home when his two brothers and father is earning . The money he gives me i always save them for future but sometimes when it comes to take anything or do donation he always say to do it yourself even for zakat he said me to do it myself . We have been fighting over it for an year , my mind is not getting relax with this tension , i feel this is unfair instead we should be helping the ones who cannot eat Give me some responce which can make my married life good im pregnant and i just cant take that much of stress please help me

A:

Alaykum Salaam

The stress will continue and increase unless you genuinely stop resenting
the money he sends to his family – there may be a reason he has this soft
spot; perhaps his father needs more, perhaps your husband is remembering
how much they did for him when he was small etc. It doesn’t matter what he
does for them as long as he also gives you money so that you are able to
live comfortably. With your allowance you can do give to charitable causes
whatever you can afford.

If you stop worrying about what he does with his money it will be a big
weight of your mind straightaway. And do not stress too much for the
future either – if he is generous with his money Allah will give barakat
Inshallah

Regards

Abbas Jaffer