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My husband is distracted, he feels low and sad when thinking about his children and ex wife.

Q:

Aoa.

My husband is not a bad husband but sometimes he is distracted. Like he has two kids from his ex wife. I try to make him happy but he is always feeling sad. Not completely happy with me when there is something special. He was in love with me after his divorce. But now when his ex ignores him he is angry having bad mood. And making small things big. I don’t know how to deal with this all. I really don’t know, What should I do. I am broken now. I am not feeling being loved and queen of my husband. What can I do?

A:

Waalaykum salam.

Sorry to hear about your situation. It could be down fright heart breaking to be caught up in a situation like yours.

I would suggest you look into the following:

1- Make sure you have a good communication channel with your husband. Talking always resolves and eases situations. Make sure you choose a time that best suits his moods.

2- Express your love when he feels low. It could be just being physically present or doing something that he would appreciate like making him a cup of Tea. Actions speak louder than words.

3- Suggest things he can do for his children. That will put his mind and heart at rest, that someone who is his own is also thinking about his kids.

4- Sometimes when his ex has upset him because she ignored him, express that how fortunate he is not to have her (indirectly meaning how lucky he is to have you) you may use a sentence like “Oh I see you look worried. I’m glad we have each other to share our pain and worries” – this in itself will send a few messages like, I’m glad we are together, I love you so much, she is your na-mahram, I am your mahram, what matters for real is me and you. Once you keep your calm when he is down, and keep on doing that, he will start finding comfort in you and that’s exactly what you are looking for.

5- Make sure you don’t forget to pray. Pray to Allah to give you strength and bless your knot InshaAlah.

Best wishes,

Naajiya.S.Jaffery