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my husband had illegitimate relation before marriage and that bothers me now.


Salaam aAlim hope you are doing good.iam in severe depreesion please help me. Actually iam married from last 6 years and i got to know about my husband’s sexual terms before maariage with prostitues. He was into zina with prostitues for about 8-10 years before marriage. But his physical terms/sex life with prostitues was only before marriage. After marriage he is sincere and honest with me no zina at all before he is now having a wife to fulfill his desire. But the question arises here that iam not happpy with his past relationships bcoz it is causing me some infection in my sexual organ and iam very disappointed regarding. Also every time i ask Allah why why it was me who got married to him bcoz in qiran itd clearly wriiten there is good man for good women and bad man for bad i was a sharewf girl which got a zina khor man. And i just cant digest this thing taht my husband slept for 10 years with prostotues.i mean i lose my virginity for him but he was already not virgin. I aldo know that its not good to think about someones past because he now does astagfaar and toba for all the sins he made before marriage but still i feel incomplete i think y he was into such bad things. Kindly help me out these thoughts sometimes distubs me alot and i feel so so soo sad. Please help me.out im in severe need of help kindly give me some hadits or any explanation regarding this so that i never think about these shitty thinga bcoz it rrally breaks my heart. I hope you got my point. Thankyou for your precious time i hope you will reply me very fairly


Waalaykum salam

Thank you for your question.

I hope you over come this stress and that im able to help you through it.

you see sister, it is important to know that no-one is obliged to discuss their past with their spouse. And if your husband shared his past with you its because he dearly dearly loves you. Besides that, you are worrying over things that were in the past. for now, Your husband is someone really dear to Allah (az), becasue if he had filth or evil in him, he would still approach other women after your marriage. But, he decided to be a dedicated husband and allowed himself to share his shameful acts with you as his better half and strength. imagine,  he is seeing you as the reason of keeping him away from sins. Basically you are the light of Allah (az) for him. hence, see yourself as someone Allah (az) chose for one of his chosen servants, who needed a good soul like yourself to help him out.

On the other hand, you should be proud of being a wife of someone who has repented over his past faults and has started afresh with a pious woman. Imam Ridha (s) says:

اَلتَّائِبُ مِنَ الذَّنبِ كَمَن لا ذَنبَ لَه.

meaning; One who has repented from a sin, is like he is sinless.

so, please do not let his past ruin your life together. Because what matters really is his status in the eyes of Allah (az) and right now he is like a shining star who has repented from his past sins and is trying his best to make the most of his present blessing i.e. you!

For your recurring infections, you may want to seek some medical attention.

I hope you will sincerely think about this and thank Allah to bless you with a man who has repented.

in my prayers,