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My fiancé disclosed my secrets and now I’m reluctant about our marriage


Performed Istikhara 3 months before marriage because me and my fiance started to have arguments and I did not have a nice feeling about all that was happening. After I performed Istikhara, 2 days later he revealed some very personal secrets of mine infront of his parents and justified it by saying that he thinks that I dont want to marry him. I trusted him with those secrets and now I hate him for revealing them, and now I just dont want to marry him. Eventhough my family thinks that a girl has to compromise and that my fiance will not do the same mistake again but same question, HOW CAN I TRUST HIM WITH MY LIFE? and that too when all this happened after the istikhara.


Assalamu Alaykum

Thank you for your question

I’m sorry to hear about your experience. Mutual trust in a relation is extremely important and once that’s distorted things can be pretty hard.

your fiancé shouldn’t have done what he did. However, you may want to give him a chance before questioning your relation completely. Everyone makes mistake and it’s only fair to give  a chance.

I’d suggest you should definitely speak to your fiancé in clear words and express your disappointment and disbelief. Also, that his action has really made you reluctant about your relation. See what he has to say and what commitment  he can give you now after this.  If you feel he is promising then I will suggest you give your relation a chance and put everything behind you…

And if not, the decision will lie with the two of you and none other.

I will also like to mention that Istikhara will not be deemed as a proper one unless one is caught in a complete 50-50 situation and all logical solutions have failed.

before I end, I’d like to mention that certainly marriage is a holy knot that has both give and take and it is not just the woman or the man who has to be compromising or giving.

InshaAllah all goes well,