The World Federation One Stop Fiqh
Search
Menu

Ask an Alim

Me and my wife have no understanding

Q:

Me and my wife has no understanding and I have no attraction towards her. She is quite and often remain slient with mood off. She has many complaints about my mother and my mother too. I can’t sleep at night and she too. I will have a baby in next 5 month. What should I do. If we separate then it is good or not? In islam can we separate if we can’t live together, will Allah allow us to do so. So that she and me remain happy after.

A:

Assalamu Alaykum

Thank you for your question

separation is not the solution for a wife who is quiet and out of mood and pregnant too!
Talaq is a halal solution but Allah (az) doesn’t like it at all. It is the last solution after failing all possible solutions

In your case, it looks like your wife is going through some difficulty with your mother. How much do you know about her difficulty and what solutions have you offered her?
from your question, I can’t understand much about the real problem between the two women but you certainly need to support both to be able to have them both normally.

as a husband, you’re obliged to provide for your wife;  food, clothing and shelter, and you’re also to make sure she is mentally feeling happy and ok. The reason she is quiet and upset shows that she is not happy. If possible find out all the reasons and solve it for her.

if the reason is being under one roof with your mother then seek a solution for that too. You may want to make separate arrangements for your wife so that both of you can enjoy your life together. And also visit your patents often.  I will Insist on the happiness of your wife because it also effects your child.

Also, if your wife is an introvert, then you will have to give her some quality time to be able to fully understand her problem. This will take some time but InshaAllah you Will have a happier life together. I also find it wise to mention that women during their pregnancy go through a lot of hormonal changes and that can also effect their  moods and behavior

in short, under all circumstances, your wife needs you love and support not your distance and separation.. that way you will have a happier wife, life and children… and this will also increase your parent happiness because they will have a happier and successful son InshaAllah

good luck,
N.S.Jaffery