The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

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Conflicting Thoughts on a Marriage Proposal


There is a man in my community who is interested in getting married to me. I have known him and his family for a little more than 10 years; we grew up together and went to the same schools. He is very religious, dedicated to the ahlulbayt, and has a good akhlaq and morals. The problem lies with his family who are not as conscience when it comes to backbiting, being jealous of people and having anger. My family think the guy is an honorable man but hate the family to the point that my mom does not even accept their food. I am in a pickle because I know he is a good man and I feel like it is unfair to judge someone based on their family. I’ve known him for so long and we both have an attraction to each other. However, I know that I would not like to be around his family members all the time, and that my parents would not feel comfortable with me marrying into that family.

Should I forget about him and wait for someone perfect to come along?


Salaam Alaykum.

We do have people whose akhlaq leaves a lot to be desired and probably the reason could be that they have taken religion to be the end rather than a means to an end (i.e. perfection of akhlaq).

As far as your query is concerned, if you know that your parents will not be happy to marry you in that family and yourself will not be able to have your in-laws around you all the time, I would suggest that you shouldn’t think of marrying him. insha Allah you will get a suitable partner with a suitable family.