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Marriage without wali

Q:

Hello I am 28yr old female living in Texas. My father was a revert and he passed away when I was 10, my mom is from Bangladesh. I am the oldest of 6, and have been working to take care of my family since young age. I only have one younger brother who is 19. My fathers family is nonMuslim. My question about marriage without Wali. I am interested in marrying a cousin from Bangladesh. There is some family tensions and My mom is refusing the idea of marriage in general for financial reasons. I am the oldest and head of household for my family. Back home I have uncles on my moms side but they even refuse the idea of me associating with this cousins family. His family is poor and he works hard to provide for them. Even when I help send money to the family money my moms family would be very angry and say bad things about them. I am forced to send money to them in secret without notifying my mom or her family. I am also afraid that my moms family will do black magic to ensure I don’t associate with them, as they have been known to do so in the past. I want to marry this man, my cousin. He is religious person, good character but my family will refuse because of old tensions and history. They also don’t want me to marry him so I don’t bring him to the US. I am of age, mature and would like to marry without their permission. Will the marriage be valid if I go to Bangladesh and have a community leader or imam serve as my wali?

A:

Wa Alaikum al-salam

thanks for your question

According to ayatollah Sistani, for girls It is necessary to seek your father or paternal grandfather’s permission (even if they are non-muslim). So if your grandfather (father of your father) is alive, you have to seek his permission, otherwise (If he is not alive) your marriage doesn’t require permission (from your mother and her family) and your marriage is right without permission; Although it’s better to talk and convince your mother to this marriage.

 regards

Sheikh Mahdi Mosayyebi