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Limit of making dua?


Assalmualikum. For the past 5 years now, I have wanted to marry this Muslim woman. She was interested in marrying me too. Due to cultural issues however, we could not marry one another. Recently, she married someone else. Someone her parents were OK with. Wallahi, I love her for the sake of Allah so I want her to have a happy life. I recognize that because Allah did not will her to marry me – she and I both would be better off without each other. I am struggling however, to come to terms with moving on. Everyday, I make dua that she gets the happiest life from today and her husband should be a better husband for her than I would have ever been. Then a small part of me wonders “What if this is also a test from Allah?” What if I ask dua that their marriage does not work out? What if after that happens, I can finally be with her? Every time this thought has come to my head I immediately shun it because I want her to be happy. She is happy I can tell. She has accepted the Qadr of Allah. But my mind also cannot forget this possibility. My question is, is it Islamic-ally Ethical to ask dua for something bad to happen in her life, so that we could be together? Afterall, wouldn’t Allah only grant this if it’s the best for her too? Am I a bad person for even thinking it? I don’t think I will ever make that dua, even if you happen to say I can because she deserves only happiness from now on but I still cannot stop wondering.


Waalykum salam  

Thank you for your Question
It isn’t Islamically ethical to have ill wishes for someone.
According to your Question, if this is still a test from Allah then the end result would be for you to be able to get her (although allot of things are involved before this happens), then why would you pray for ill when it might happen (May be?) in a natural way!?
So either way, whether she breaks away (God forbid) or not her happiness will be what will bring her to either paths.
In that case you prayer for her happiness will be the best prayer for her and yourself. Because it will rest your thoughts and bring tranquility.
InshaAllah  your are able to settle in life and get the best in both worlds.


Naajiya Jaffery