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Long distance relationship of husband and wife.

Q:

Salam.. so me and my husband live on the opposite side of the world. And I have applied for his visa but it’s been 1 and 1/2 year now. I saw him this June and again we’re back to the constant wait. I’m pregnant now.. I had also bought an apartment and I’m paying rent and bills. I work and go to college which is why I can’t go to see him as much. Now I can’t go and don’t know when I will be able too.. now I’m frustrated everyday. I don’t want to stay in contact with him because there’s no point. What do I do? We pray everyday about this and nothing is happening. I just want us to be together and us being far now has me thinking wrong things sometimes. I don’t know what to do? Is it okay in Islam to be far away constantly..

A:

Waalykum salam sister

Your situation can be down right daunting.I pray you get over this phase and are able to live with your husband and baby happily InshaAllah.

So, I will suggest you kill the distance. Either he moves where you are until you’re done with whatever that is you’re doing and keeping you from moving. Or vice versa.

Because, marriage is about being together and experiencing that love and togetherness with one another.
You have the right to be frustrated and feel that way. But you maybe feeling more so because of your situation at the moment. Pregnancy is a vulnerable stage, not only do you need extra care with your physical state but also your mental and soul state.

Hence, it’s time you both spoke over the measures that can be taken and remove this stance between you.

In the meantime, I will humbly ask you to focus on the good days that are about to come InshaAllah. You will soon be together and be great parents to the new bundle of joy arriving soon.
Things like not having contact with your husband, etc is only going to make your situation worse.

So, pls speak to your husband. Get professional and legal help if need be, to reduce this waiting period and InshaAllah be together soon.

Having said the above, I’d like to add that at times, you must give up on certain things for a greater good. Therefore, one of you or both, will have to sacrifice on a few things. But know that it’s for the greater good for yourselves and your baby InshaAllah

Best wishes,
N.S.Jaffery