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Living with mother in law


Salaam, when I was getting to know my husband for the purpose of marriage, I made it clear that I want to live seperately from in Laws and at the time he also wanted the same (to live seperate to his parents). His parents agreed to let us live with them while we save money for our own house. 1 year later his parents have divorced and his father has left the home. His mother has physical disability and would not be safe to live alone, therefore my husband has said we have to live with her no matter what. We bought a house for ourselves and my husband has demanded that she will also be living with us as he can not abandon his mother.
I have agreed but in my heart I feel a very big sorrow as his mother has mental health problems such as negative personality disorder, paranoia against me and my family members, severe anxiety and bipolar, as well as controlling behaviour. I do not feel mentally safe being in the same house as her as her moods are so inconsistent. She could be calm one moment and rude and eccentric the next. It has started to cause me great anxiety too just being around her.
Do I have the right in this instance to demand that we house her seperately? She will be receiving a large amount of money from her divorce settlement soon.
Would it be cruel of me to ask that she buys her own flat near us so that we can still check on her but live seperate, or do I allow her to come and live with us as my husband wants. He is her only child and I know if I ask her to live seperately, it would devestate him. But I cannot see myself living peacefully with his mother.
Please advise what would be best according to Islam and moral duty


Waalykum salam

Thank you for your Question

Sorry to hear about your Mother in law being so Ill.
But I also must congratulate you that you have been understanding with the entire situation so far.

So you are not obliged to live with your MIL more so because of the given scenario. However, in reverse case scenario between you and your husband, what would your decision be for your mother? This will help you make a balanced decision.

Since he is the only child, and your MIL is in need of assistance, the Best decision sounds to be what you have thought of yourself. However, since I do not know the exact detailed situation, it’s best you spoke to your local Aalim for further guidance

InshaAllah all Goes well,
Kind regards
Naajiya Jaffery