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Living with in-laws


I have a question about a circumstance with my husband. My in-laws live with us. But mother-in-law stays fairly long time with her daughter who is married and live in a different state. My father-in-law a retired old man. Last year, I was pregnant for the first time. During my pregnancy, my father-in-law was diagnosed with liver cancer. My mother-in-law came for only 2 weeks to see her husband. Throughout my pregnancy, I was busy with so many duties and there was no one to help me. Finally my baby was born before due date and my mother-in-law came home the day after my baby was born. Now she is going back again in June to her daughter’s house leaving her husband with us. My mother-in-law serves as a babysitter for my sister-in-law, because she and her husband both work full time and they don’t want to send their son to daycare. But in my situation, I have to send my son to daycare because I’m still in college and my husband works full time. Since I’m a new mother and I already have a busy schedule for my studies, I am asking my husband to send his father with his mother so that he can be better served and I can have less stress in my personal life. This is not a permanent move for him, only for the time while my mother-in-law stays in her daughter’s house. My husband is refusing to do so. If I’m not willing to stay in the house with his father without presence of his mother, what is his responsibility towards me?


Waalaykum Salam

Sorry to hear about yourself and your father in law’s health.

It is your husband’s responsibility to make sure that you are at ease and
comfort. To be honest it is a wise decision to make sure that your father
in law is beside his wife so that he can be looked after even better.

The only way to tackle this would be to make sure your mother in law knows
of this concern. Your husband is an ideal bridge and for this you must
speak to him very calmly and explain your concerns.

If this doesn’t work you must then seek some counseling and or speak to a
local Aalim who can try and sort this out for you.

On the other hand, I find it wise to mention that your father in law has
rights over your husband and yourself.

Your husband is his son and he needs to make sure that he serves his
parents in the best of ways. This is something that Islam really
emphasises on to the extent that even the Holy Quran talks about this.
(sura al-Isra ayah 23)

You as s Daughter in law, now have an independent relation with your
father in law regardless your husband. Did you know that one’s father in
law is his/her mahram for life even if the husband wife separate?! In
that case you need to closely look at this and make sure you’re neat on the steps you plan on taking.

I hope your issue is resolved and your father in law feels better.