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Is this right decision for divorce.

Q:

SalaamAlaykum .

I hope you are well, by the grace of Allah (swt).

I have a question regarding divorce.

A brother I know is going through a lot of distress. His wife wants a divorce from him. They have been married for roughly 26 years. Here is a little background about the situation.

He has 4 daughters. The oldest daughter is 25 and currently undergoing a divorce with her husband. She has one son. The divorce is complicated due to child custody. The second oldest daughter passed away due to cancer illness. She was married, contracted the illness while she was pregnant, and ultimately divorced her husband under the pressure of her mother and passed away shortly after that. The third and fourth daughters are not married, but Baligh.

The brothers wife suddenly asked for a divorce. The reason she says is, that her husband micro manages home affairs, does not have a job so he stays home all day, uses bad language and scholds the children. She says it is hard for her to live a decent life in this environment, and wants to separate from him. She also influenced the kids, and they too are against their father.

Although the brother does not have a stable job, he is able to and does provide for his wife and children very adequately. He does so by gaining money from rent off of his property.
He also sold his property when his family was undergoing difficult times and required lots of money.

The wife has a very strong influence in the house and over her kids. She is the one who initiated divorce for both her daughters. She often takes big family decisions in the house. She does not directs the kids to obey and listen to their father, such that they no longer want to keep any relations with father too anymore.

The issue of divorce was raised once before in his life, a few years back over the same issue. The brother apologized and agreed to be a better husband and father figure. This is the second time divorce is being raised in his life.

My question is, is the wife correct to demand a divorce for her reasons and in this situation?
The brother is asking for another last chance from his wife and says that he will better himself.

Please advise.

JazakAllah

A:

Waalykum salam

Thank you for your Question.

I’m sorry to hear about this brother’s situation.

Man is the head of the family and he is to lead the affairs together with the help of his wife. He is suppose to be confident enough to lead his family and believe in himself to be able to do so.
Simultaneously, this man who is known to be the knot of the family, is expected to be kind, loving and gentle towards his wife and children. This way they will be able to prosper as individuals, family and community altogether.

However, if he fails to do any of the above to the extend that he doesn’t provide for his family or is counted as someone who oppresses his family members, then only a wife Can think of such an act.

But if the problems are not as serious, according to Islamic laws, the wife holds no such charges against Her husband to press in for a divorce.
The right of the divorce too is in the hands of the man and not the woman.

It will be ideal if the family is convinced to go for counseling. Because both sound at fault and the matters Are also quiet solve-able. They can still make some
Simple changes (Both of them) to be able to live together happily.
Also, the children need to know the rights of their father on them to be able to appreciate Him and make the most of him.

InshaAllah all Goes well
Kind regards,
Naajiya Jaffery