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Is there a way I can save this marriage?


Assalam u alaikum,

I have been married for 7 years. We have had an amazing marriage and I love my wife a lot. For the past 4 years, we have been living a lot of time apart and recently I started a very bad habit of watching porn. My wife caught me with that and she now wants to break the marriage off because of that, she has caught me once before at the beginning of the marriage but didn’t make a big deal of it. But this time she flipped out and she says that it is equivalent to cheating, I never even knew that the consequences are so bad otherwise I would have never done it and otherwise I have been very loyal to my wife. I have since repented to Allah and still ask for forgiveness, Is my wife’s actions justifiable, can this reason be big enough to break a marriage even though I have promised not to ever do that again? is there a way I can save this marriage?


Al-Salam Alaykum
Thank you for your question.

The act even though very bad, is not enough for breaking up a marriage. Marriage is a very holy bonding and it must be saved. Man and his wife should help each other in obeying Allah. one of helping each other is enjoining the good and forbidding the evil (Amr bi Al-Maruf and Nahi An Al-Monkar امر بالمعروف و النهی عن المنکر). However, there are many ways of doing so and it is not just by angry faces and fighting. It can be done by finding the roots of doing bad and eradicating the cause of it.

However, if one thinks staying in a marriage makes a situation for him\her to disobey Allah, as a last solution one can think of divorce.

I recommended you go for marriage counselling and try hard to save the marriage as divorce is the worst Hallal in the eye of Allah.

Also, as a closing note, we would like to add that your wife trusted you once and you broke it. what is the guarantee that you won’t break it again?! hence, you need to prove that to her!
Had it been that we obey Allah for our own sake, we would never suffer such consequences.

best regards!
Sayyid Madani