The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

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Is parents permission necessary to settle abroad (getting a decent job)?


Assalam un alaikum

I am a 32 year old married male and only son of my parents. I recently did my PhD from USA and had to move back to Pakistan with family because of my parents insistence. I have tried to find a job in Pakistan but have failed to find one.

Meanwhile being disappointed I also started applying abroad and I expect to secure a decent job very soon. I am afraid that once I get the job my parents would not allow me to go and work abroad. I do want to accept such a job offer because the career prospects are much better than in my country.

Ultimately I want my parents to move in with me too.

Please guide me what would be the right course of action. Should I give up my dream of securing a decent job abroad because my parents don’t approve ?


Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your query.

Question: What are the limits of obeying one’s parents?

Answer: The duty of a child towards his parents is of two kinds:

The First: To be kind towards them by providing for them, if they are in need. To provide for their day-to-day needs. To respond to their requests that are related to their daily lives at a level that is normal and usual for a human being, in the sense that if he refuses to fulfill them, it would be regarded as “not being good to them” and that would differ depending on whether they are healthy and strong or ill and weak.

The Second: To behave towards them kindly, by not offending them in word or action, even if they are unjust to him. In some religious text, it says, “And if they hit you, do not shun them; instead say, ‘May Allãh forgive you.’”

This is as far as it relates to the parents’ situation. As for those issues concerning the affairs of the child himself by which he could offend one of the parents, these are of two kinds:

The First: If the parent’s distress results from his concern for the child, it is forbidden for the child to do something that would distress his parent, irrespective of whether or not the parent has prevented him from it.

The Second: If the parent’s distress results from of his own evil characteristics (for example, dislike for the good of this world or the hereafter for his child), this kind of distress has no bearing on the child, thus, it is not obligatory on the child to submit to this kind of desires.

It becomes clear from this that, on its own, obeying the parents in their personal commands is not obligatory. And Allãh knows the best.

Parents’ obedience is must unless they ask the children to go against the commands of Allah swt. But if it causes annoyance or harm to the parents then obeying them in this matter will be wajib on you. If their opinion is out of sympathy and doesn’t cause annoyance or harm then it would not be problematic.

Going abroad is neither sin nor prohibited unless the travel is with the intention of committing sin. One of the important things is to make your parents happy, satisfy them and if you really wish to take them along with you abroad, speak to them and tell them once you have the job you would take them along with you. In this way, you will come to know their opinion and you can move accordingly by fulfilling your Islamic duty.

Whatever we have is because of our parents’ Duas so we must make sure our parents are happy from our side which makes Allah swt happy.


Syed Haider